Priority

What do you want? really want?

a million dollars?
a family?
true love?
a good job?
3 day weekends?
a good time?
a good kiss?

We all want something. Hell, we all want lots of things. The hard part is separating what we want and can have from what we want and can't have. Its not like me to say you can't have something....I'm the blogger who writes about taking chances and risks and believing in the impossible. Please continue to do those things, but today I'm writing about prioritizing desire so you increase the what you can have part as much as possible.

Make a list. What do you want? how bad do you want it? and what do you want more? The truth is that sometimes you have to sacrifice one thing for another. For example do you want to go to the beach this weekend or do you want to go to the mountains? you could want them both but you only get one weekend. So which one takes priority?

The easy part is knowing what you want the hard part is knowing which one you want first which one you want most. We all know what we want out of life and if you say you don't you are in denial. Maybe you don't know the specifics and maybe you haven't made a plan to get there (P.S. make a plan>>it helps you get there faster) but you know in general the things you want to get out of life. We are all dying, today, tomorrow, 40 years from now, 100 years from now: doesn't really matter when it happens. We know its happening. And, before it gets here what do you want to have done; what do you want to leave behind? You want a family? you want to know what love feels like? you want to forgive aunt Betty and start speaking to her again?

Good.

now what do you want first/most/today?
Goals are attained best when you aren't attacking them all at once. In order to get what you want you have to give it the right amount of attention. So that means taking your time and giving your focus to number 1 so that you can have it in the palm of your hand and move all your attention to number 2. pretty soon 1,214 is yours too. Don't extend yourself trying to accomplish everything at once. I'm not saying to give up on believing you can do everything because, you can do anything but you just can't do everything right this second. Be patient, make priorities, and go take on the world one step at a time.

Challenge

People say they like a challenge, it keeps life interesting. Still the majority of people underachieve, play it safe, and settle. A challenge is a conquest and the stuff heroes are made out of. So in a way its a fantasy; we all want to be heroes.

Yet we still behave in a way to limit challenges. Because although they are fun and exciting, they are also scary and dangerous. Success trumps challenge far too often. So we run the races we know we can win, and we apply to the jobs we feel we can confidently succeed at. Unfortunately, we succeed, just like we knew we would, and so we are rewarded for being safe. Which then makes us avoid challenge even more so that we can get that feeling again.

We are happy, but just happy enough to be satisfied because there is always that maybe in the back of your mind. The maybe you could have had more, done more, or gotten more. We can pretend that we don't want the challenge but the truth is we do. We want it but we don't allow ourselves to go after it. We are designed to assess possible outcomes. So the pros and cons rule our decision-making because we are logically thinking beings.

I'm not advocating for the absence of logic. We have this ability because it is useful. All I'm saying is believe in yourself as unstoppable, tie that thought into your logic. No mountain is too high. So yes think before you act, but when you do, think about succeeding even the biggest challenges.

I thought this was life...

When I graduated I heard people saying- "Now you start life" or "Welcome to the real world"...but my questions is .....Did I stop living while I was in college?

To me this time has been the most I ever lived. I found myself and I learned to have faith in myself. I went through some of the hardest experiences of my life and I built inner strength from it. I took risks and if that isn't life then I'm not sure what is.

For me there is no "fake world;" it's all real. The most learning that occurred while I was at Cal Poly did not happen in a classroom, it wasn't about business management or psychological human functioning, and I didn't get graded on it either. The most I learned in college was about myself: what I am capable of, what I want out of life, and just plain random knowledge everyone should know......

I decided to form a list...some of it serious...some of it funny...all of it true
WHAT I LEARNED FROM COLLEGE
-being on your own is priceless...even when it cost every cent you have
-parents did a lot more for you when you lived at home than you had ever noticed
-in reality no one cares how much money you have unless you talk about it
-sleep isn't always necessary
-friendship only means something when you give it meaning
-choosing between beer or real food is harder than you think
-you get out just as much as you put in....this goes for anything
-even the most devastating situations look like nothing in hindsight
-death happens: so say your "I love yous"
-blessings are everywhere
-the grass is only greener on the other side because you are too busy looking at it to water your own
-there is no such thing as too much laughter, too much love, or too much knowledge
-everything is beautiful...not everyone has the ability to see it
-instinct and intuition are usually right
-you have to take a risk to move forward
-the best things in life aren't free, but you don't buy them with cash or credit either
-you can say so much without saying a word
-with God you can make it through anything
-you can always change yourself if you aren't happy with you anymore
-there is no wrong way to play beer pong
-credit cards aren't really magical
-we need people in our lives
-if he has your number and he didn't call..its cuz he didn't want to so get over it there are plenty more guys out there
-you have to live life one step at a time
-you will regret it if you say "no" every time someone invites you out
-we are all powerful
-learning shouldn't stop just because you aren't sitting in a classroom
-when you believe in yourself no one else needs to
-people are attracted to people who love themselves (a healthy self love though)
-don't believe everything you read/hear/see
-mistakes are necessary
-and the list goes on and on and on.....because every moment is a chance to learn something new about life.

Thank you to all my supporters who I am blessed to have. I thank God everyday for those of you that taught me lessons, learned lessons with me, and held my hand during the learning process.

Fear

"A Ship in a Harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are made for"-William Shedd

We wake up 40 years from now and realize everything we didn't have the time to do. Except that we did have the time and we did have the opportunity, but it's a lot easier to pretend we didn't than to tell ourselves the truth. What's the truth?

The truth is that we were afraid. That we lived our life thinking about everything that could go wrong and instead of deciding to take a chance we didn't stand up for ourselves. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, and even fear of success. We let fear get in the way. We let fear hold us prisoner.

We have a term for this...it's called a mid-life crisis and it is very common. Not everyone has one, but if we made up a term for it chances are most people do in some sense. The biggest problem is that by the time that crisis occurs and we start to blame all the "should of"s on fake reasons like time, its too late to truly fix the problem. Although many try: the brand new convertible, 20-something year old mistress. or other fillers that can temporary placate the emotions we feel about our "failure to live" don't actually satisfy the needs they are pretending to fill.

Why is it that we are a people controlled by fear? We are controlled by fear because we must protect ourselves and if something is scary we label it dangerous as well, even when that is not the case. For example, hitting on someone may result in getting rejected that's scary, I get it, but is it dangerous? Will it prevent you from living the rest of your life? and what exactly is the cost of not hitting on them? Because when you really break it down...living a life alone is just as scary as one person rejecting you, isn't it? "Lonely hearts are never broken" but they are still lonely. Associating negative consequences with danger or harm is just not logical.

What if you fail? Does someone die? Well maybe if you are a heart surgeon or Airplane Pilot, but liekely the answer is no. What happens is you fail, boo hoo, and then you pick yourself up and you try something different, or you find the mistakes that led you to fail and you fix them. The problem comes from our perception of failure, and when we change our perception we change our life.

The quote I began this post with has been one of my favorite quotes for a long time. I can't remember the first time I heard it, but I have seen it several times since. The message is simple, and yet most of us, including myself, ignore it. Safety takes priority and we don't do what we are made to do because we are so caught up in keeping ourselves away from risk. In a study of 80-90 year olds, 84% indicated that their biggest regret was that they didn't take enough risks. BIGGEST REGRET.. approximately 4 out of every 5 people. That doesn't mean that the 5th person doesn't have that regret too it only means they have another regret that is bigger.

So you have two choices: (1) live your life now, courageously face fear and fail, get rejected, get embarrassed, and make mistakes. Sounds scary, but there is another side to that because you also get to succeed, live a life, and make progress. or (2) you can wait until you are old and gray and relive your safe life over and over in your head wishing you could have been just a little more brave.

I'm not saying its easy, as a matter of fact, I am saying its hard. And anyone who knows me knows I am the queen of fear, so of course its hard for me as well. It's supposed to be hard because that's what makes it worth it.

The only fear we should let run our life is the fear that we will wake up one morning and realize we never really "lived"

If boys knew how to be romantic

We live in a world where women made up the rules of love and romance. Men, boldly attempt to follow the rules, but realistically FAIL MISERABLY. Which then gives us an excuse to complain and make up even bigger more complicated rules about how to fix things after they have messed them up.

What if boys knew how to be romantic? What if they were born with the ability to do exactly what we picture they would do? Well the truth is, we would make up more ridiculous rules that they would then fail. I know that this theory I have sounds odd, but let me explain my thought process.

I believe, that girls do not necessarily want flowers, expensive dinners, chocolate covered strawberries, and candlelight. Well scratch that of course we want that because it sounds so awesome, but why do we want that from men? why do they constantly have to prove their love with these little things? Well I think it is because what we want is a guy who is not like every other guy! Unfortunately, they are still a guy and they will still forget anniversaries and buy valentine's cards that are funny instead of romantic.

WE SET THEM UP TO FAIL! We make sure that what we want is the stuff most guys forget so that when they do remember it ends up making them ONE-OF-A-KIND. Even if it doesn't happen everyday, most men aren't completely clueless and will send flowers for no reason or light candles when you come home. So we keep making the rules and letting them get broken daily, because the days we get exactly what we want...WE GET TO BE A PRINCESS WHO HAS FOUND A PRINCE FROM A CROWD OF TOADS.

I wrote this in the 5th GRADE!

The Pursuit of Happiness?

We are littering the streets
with dreams and self-authored tales
Yesterday, I saw basketball star
behind the convenience store.
This morning Prima Ballerina
was on 1st and Main
choking on sewage in the gutter.
Crumpled up and barely shimmering
in the street lights.
We don't even notice anymore
as we drive by to our 9 to 5.
We are racing to the flimsy paycheck
that does disappearing magic tricks
and leaves us behind
the way we left President and Musician
so long ago.
We the people
have the right to pursue happiness,
but what about to attain it?

Believing in the invisible.

I was 9 years old the day I decided God existed. I was on the playground and Daniel H. kicked down a sapling tree and it broke in half. Being the environmentalist that I was, I ran to Ms. Johnson's classroom, grabbed duct tape out of her drawer, and returned to put the tree back together. It was a Friday so I was going to have to wait until Monday to check on my patient. That Monday morning I removed the tape little by little, revealing the sapling's two pieces completely connected. I decided that I had witnessed a miracle. The only one I had ever heard of before this was the birth of my baby sister, and since I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, this tree became the first miracle I believed in.
This morning, I was stopped to fill out a short survey on science as proof against creation. I refused. The gentleman quickly replied, "These are facts, you can't ignore facts. If you want to keep on believing in the invisible that's fine, but it's obviously wrong."
What is it about human nature that requires an answer for everything? Why is believing in the invisible seen as ridiculous? Science gives you answers, physical answers, whether they are right or wrong or interpreted correctly doesn't seem to matter. Still, science can't answer everything; FAITH can.
In my manuscript, Believing Windmills, I use the analogy of the windmills I used to watch on long trips with my family. The wind is in essence invisible until we see what it does, how it flows through the trees and through the windmills. We believe in wind don't we? Faith is believing that what you see is the result of the invisible as well as the physical. Faith is not needing facts to define the world around you.

Next time you pass a windmill, you can use a scientific measure of force and get out of your car to discover what is causing it to move, OR you can just BELIEVE.